(Proper credit for title of this post must be given to Biscuit, who did not have the forethought to give his post this title, but later, during the comment discussion, brilliantly used this phrase, which I quickly explained I was stealing. Unfortunately, even from the bloody English, stealing is bad and I don’t fare well in orange jumpers. (ick) So, check out Biscuit’s Kissing tales because, as @textingmrdarcy has pointed out, he has turned into quite the kissing menace and we LOVE it! In the meanwhile, lets talk about everyones favorite tiny purple love imp. Thanks Biscuit! *transatlantic hugs and kisses*)
Let’s establish on the front end (no, not a pun) this is not a post about my little purple vibrator. Wait! What? I’m not even saying I have a little purple vibrator. Or maybe I just did say I have one and I might have laughed guiltily like a school girl caught smoking in the bathroom when I first read that line as Biscuit had written it. I mean, I knew he was actually referencing the purple master of music, but still, Tiny. Purple. Love Imp. Whoa! I burst into a fit of giggles. I know, I know, 12 year old girl in me.
Anyway, Prince, the purple clad, smoke shrouded, master of high heeled, ruffled, oddly grown facial haired, sexy beated, pop, rock, musical genius of a different sort. Can we all just agree this is something Kanye will never get?
What are the chances Kanye will create a song like Kiss? I think not! (BTW, yes, when Prince demands you to Kiss, you Kiss, you can’t NOT kiss! Biscuit and I have agreed on this (Also, since Biscuit is on another continent, I am currently safe from the kissing menace of London)
Little Red Corvette? Doubtful. 1999. Puh leazzzzze! The tiny purple love imp also knew the key to his success was largely held in his mysterious air. Something lost on so many musicians these days. I know I have no interest in knowing Prince’s political interests. I do not want to know whether or not he is intelligent. He was a wonderful, tiny inspiration when he was belting out Darling Nikki. Why fuck it up and start going on the Today Show making an ass of himself? There is a simple beauty to musicians who want to be musicians. Of course, I blindly ignore Prince’s two movies, which I watched. Purple Rain several times. That other one the name of which I will not speak once, then I erased it from my mind. But let’s pretend they just didn’t happen. He was born to create music! I will make exceptions for Justin Timberlake and Pink, but only because they are hot and can act.
I will end this with a quick sidenote to Biscuit: just as one must Kiss when Prince says Kiss, I am pretty sure there is a rule written somewhere that requires one to grind when one meets girls named Nikki…..or if one happens to get backstage by flirting with the roadies at a Motley Crue concert and meets Nikki Sixx then pretends they are 21 instead of only 14. Wait! What? Who the fuck would do a thing like that??????