If I Said I Want Your Body Now…..

……would you shut the fuck up????

I am so ashamed to admit I can’t refrain from turning up the volume when this new jewel comes on. It makes me want to dance….and it makes me think.

If I (semi) ripped off the lyrics of a bad song, added a dance beat and mass produced it after my life had become a very public trainwreck….would I be Brittney Spears? I mean, with less mascara…..and more curves…..and older……I think probably not.

Then again, I would much rather be Amy Lee or that badass bass player from The Sick Puppies. Yes, “Somebody’s Going Down”……it makes me turn everything up on blast too. In a much less embarrassing way. And no, they don’t sound like Breaking Benjamin! Seriously, who thinks that?

On a less embarrassing note: I did go out dancing Saturday night.

THINGS I LEARNED SATURDAY NIGHT:

I am incapable of drinking copious amounts of liquor AND sitting still. It’s one or the other people. Don’t be expecting both.

I am not yet in tune with my new Motorola Atrix, which has flash…..taking surreptitious photos does NOT work well when you have a flash on your phone. Trust me, I tested this theory.

The bathroom at the Back Door (no bad pun here, it’s the name of a local bar) is far dirtier looking when I am sober. I took a picture of myself in the mirror, as the sign above it instructed. I didn’t think it was that bad when I was there. The pic says otherwise.

Once the first BIG girl gets on stage to dance, they all follow. Tengo Sed Cantina looked like something straight out of The Biggest Loser. Jillian would have been so proud of all of the calories they were sweating out.

Standing on a street corner waiting for your ride at 4am in downtown Louisville wearing a dress shorter than your red coat is just like wearing a sign that reads: Please accost me!

Lastly, the best lesson of all…I love to party and close the clubs down!

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